To all those people who have been complaining about the abnormally chilly weather, I bet you’re all sorry now, aren’t ya?

I personally was cursing the sweltering heat to the high heavens last Thursday when I was walking to auditions for future replacements in the upcoming musical, American Idiot. How adequate, I had thought to myself. I’m an idiot for wearing boots on a 90 degree day. I’d be perfect for this show. Walking into an audition looking as if I’d just come from the gym (and apparently worked out in a really nice skirt and high heel boots) was not really what I had been going for.

I need not have worried though. After an hour of sitting in the waiting room, the climate of which was akin to the arctic tundra, I looked as good as new, albeit rather goosepimply. (Is that a word? Goosepimply? Goosebumply? Goosebump-infested?)

The audition went well, by the way.

The next day, I was cursing the heat again as I walked to an audition for background vocals on a new album by Todd English. I must’ve looked as if I’d just walked out of the blazing depths of hell by the time I reached the studio. Then the thought struck me, At least this is a singing audition, not a model call. Looking at things from that perspective, I could’ve kissed the ground for my luck (except that I wouldn’t really, because these are NYC streets we’re talking about and that’s just gross). In the end, the audition seemed to go remarkably well, so I guess the producer wasn’t as bothered by my sweaty exterior as I was.

Today, I trekked all the way to New Jersey to audition for an indie feature produced by America Onfilm. This time, I was prepared. I got there, ran to the bathroom, temporarily stripped and wiped myself down with a towel, took a shower in cologne, and applied makeup as necessary. Writing it out now, it sounds horribly yucky and tedious, but heck, what can I do?

On the bright side, I hear it’s a sign of physical fitness if you sweat easily. Hah! I’m physically fit. Yippee. Then again, Angelina Jolie as Lara Croft is the epitome of fit and she stayed beautifully unshiny even when she was beating people up and raiding tombs. I guess I just can’t win.

Moral of the story: Never compare yourself to Angelina Jolie, or you’ll just be depressed.